White coat. Heels.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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