You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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