I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus