Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.