i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.