I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.