Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
