i don't like sucking hair
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.