no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night