No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel