Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.