I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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