Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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