Dual....:-)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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