he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.