You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.