chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...