Umm I'm too high to move.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss