just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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