just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize