So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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