I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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