Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
