I'm fucking your sister right now.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole