I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.