If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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