just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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