kristin has been a bad kristin
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
