i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize