I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize