Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
