Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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