But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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