I need help removing her.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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