so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
