you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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