all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize