I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The power of my boobs compel you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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