so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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