I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You ruined the universe
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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