I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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