I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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