I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
