i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
