so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
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Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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