I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
