At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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