I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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