'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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