i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize