"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
