My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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