well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize