I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
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