so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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