Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize