dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
