The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
