They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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