I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
