Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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